Or, how a vanilla spice blend and a mug of grog can take the edge off a very bad day...
With my muse now dead, summer taking its final bow, and a tax bill bigger than my zip code and phone number combined, I feel like pulling a geographic. Fleeing. Gone daddy-o. I want to become more than just a simple runaway from a bloated right thumb of a state, I want to be a fugitive from the whole red-white-and-blue, no-money-down, fast-food-fads, status-over-substance, if-it's-sweet-fry-it American-dream thing.
Flee to an island oasis somewhere. Pull a true Gauguin and live among tanned topless beauties with unpronounceable names. Chase down wild spotted shore goats, indulge in tough gamey meat and soft bitter papayas. Spend my days painting the lush green paradise that is an exact opposite of my here and now.
Yes, that is what I want to do. But, with my muse now dead, the canvas here sits blank. A blank canvas means no income and no income means no method to flee and on and on it goes. But I do have a short term answer...Three simple words...
Rum, vanilla and quail. I'll put some Martin Denny on the iPod, pour a serious 'Ball-less Monkey' (with a twist of lime), and make myself a tropical spiced tiny bird feast. And in that meal I will travel to Gauguins island in both mind and taste, forgetting my 'apple-pie' woes for a few hours.
The rum was a gift from a client, the quail an impulse buy (from a misguided trip to the local Pilipino market in search of crispy Patas), the vanilla spice seasoning a personal creative experiment with a damn happy outcome.
Lately I've been on a spice kick. I've taken to mixing my own rubs, seasonings, and marinates. I have jars and jars of personal blends; some are romantic like a Goya, some are bitter with realism like a Vemeer, some are abstract by design like a Matisse, and some simply push the boundaries like a Duchamp.
But the jar I reach for now, my Vanilla Spice blend, is pure Gauguin. It reeks of vanilla orchids and rich tropical cumin with a hint of paprika peering though like reflective eyes in the black jungle night.
It was a bold move, using powdered vanilla in a spice blend, but it was also conjured in the time of the muse. She guided the boldness (all I dare combine now is salt and pepper, damn my muse for dying).
Don't be frightened by the Vanilla, it synergies with the cumin to create a unique flavor that is so exotic, it can not easily be recalled, yet the mind - through swaying taste buds - will find its way to a tropical paradise of forgotten islands.
Gab a bunch of prepped quail, mix a batch of spice and fire up the grill (although this works best with the gaminess of small wild/unconventional fowl, I suppose a fat lazy city chicken will do in a pinch).
THE SPICE MIX (makes a normal spice jars worth):
3 TBS Vanilla Powder
1 1/2 TBS Ground Cumin
1 TBS Granulated Garlic (not salt or powder)
1 TBS Granulated Onion (not salt or powder)
1 TBS Celery Salt + 1 tsp white salt
1 TBS Paprika
THE MARINATE:
1 1/2 TBS Vanilla Spice Mix
2 TBS Apple Juice
1 TBS White Wine Vinegar
Place the marinate in a zip-lock bag along with 6 quail (or 4 skinless boneless chicken thighs if you insist) and let it sit in the refrigerator 4 to 12 hours. Grill over indirect heat and finish with a quick kiss of flame.
So that my friends, is a quick get-away gift from this shore-locked muse-less artist to all those in need of a quick trip to Gauguin's island (there is no Mary Ann but the Ginger grows wild). Don't forget the rum and sunscreen and send me a card when you get a chance.
Procrastination is a strange bed-mate, we want it here for a good roll but we wish it would leave in the morning. Or do we? Every artist has his own arsenal of procrastination techniques. I figured, what-the-hell, I may as well share my six favorite procrastination methods for all the young aspiring artists out there. Now, don't put off reading this, It could save you from working too damn hard.
My mornings never start off with the set goal of getting so little achieved each day, it just ends up that way. Don’t get me wrong, I keep so busy that the day passes to the point I often forget to eat lunch. Like all prizewinning procrastinators, I spend my time toiling with low priority crap and leave the important art and client jobs to gather dust. I blame my dead muse. Which brings me to ‘how to’ number one:
1- LOSE YOUR MUSE -
Nothing keeps procrastination from the art door like a muse. To call a muse a source of inspiration is an understatement, she is inspiration on meth-laced steroids with a powerful line of sparkling white cocaine thrown in for a euphoric kick. Under the spell of a muse, sleep is a waste of time and creative ideas actually come too fast - furiously fed by a need to start (and finish!) every single one with the hyper-enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning.
Now lose that muse. Zip - gone. The speedy high goes from a supersonic jet engine to a one-legged toddler on a tricycle. The creative drive grinds to a jarring halt. Christmas sucks. Procrastination moves in, drinks all your beer, and walks around in its underwear all day.
I currently have projects screaming at me from every corner of the room, some due in weeks - some due in days - and one I was suppose to have done tonight. But here I sit typing ‘how to throw it all away by procrastinating’ for the benefit of? who? Anybody out there? I feel like a disk-jockey at a soft-60’s-AM-rock radio station at three in the morning, sending out a weak signal that only one lone fishing shack in the middle of Alaska is tuned into. But that poor listener has no choice - the dial broke off his radio years ago and he’s stuck with either me or the sound of ice cracking under his feet. Which brings us to number two:
2 - START A BLOG -
This is an EXCELLENT procrastination tool! Tip one - keep the subject so vague no one will ever find it in the search engines. You don’t want a following! People depending on your posts will only put more pressure on you and cause you to procrastinate from writing on it. If that happens, you will be forced to do one of the projects that brought you to your blog in the first place. Tip two - If you get tired of writing vapid trite like this, you can always spend a few hours fooling with the HTML CSS coding (like I did today).
Now that I look around, I see stacks of reference pulled for new projects and stacks of reference pulled for projects so old I can’t remember who or what each stack is for. But the urge to start a new reference stack is quite strong now (then I can put-off making dinner). I also have six emails nagging me every time I turn on the computer - they are from Galleries and Art Spaces planning Christmas exhibits - all wanting a piece for their show. I think I will randomly pick an email and start gathering reference for it. That will jump us into three:
3 - MAKE ANOTHER DEADLINE YOU CAN’T POSSIBILITY MEET -
The star of all artist procrastination tools. Add more to your plate! Nothing stirs up 'procrastination passion' like more "need-to-do" crap you can never possibly get to!
Now, I have an advantage, I suffer from AvPD and that makes me fear failure and the same time expect - no, I demand I fail (I know, I know). AvPD people procrastinate as if it were a category in the world Olympics. We are beyond champions in this arena. As an AvPD artist who is stuck in his studio like a prisoner on lock-up, this next one is one of my favorite procrastination devices, but it will work beautifully for you too. I offer you number four:
4 - CHAT APPS THAT COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER COUNTRIES -
Get a smart phone and load it up with foreign ‘chat apps’ and talk to girls in EVERY Country on earth. The further the Time Zone change, the better. Now get dependent on talking to each of them everyday (and night), each at a different time. Get on their time schedule. Your own world will now be turned upside-down to such a degree, you won’t even remember you have jobs due in a few days, let alone what day it actually is!
Speaking of... Japan is calling at this moment. I could finish this list now but I rather waste my time talking to a pretty stranger through a translation app. I’ll finish this post later..... yea, hold your breath out there lone Alaskan fisherman.
Being the title of this blog, this ship without a port, I feel obligated to touch on the subject of the Muse. Once this post is finished and out in the world, we will see where the dead muse takes us next.
A Muse (in the human form) is commonly thought of as a woman who evokes such strong emotion
in an artist that she inspires him to achieve beyond his believed
capabilities. Muses were originally 9 Greek Goddesses who inspired those
in the arts and astronomy.
Why does my Muse only speak when she is unhappy?
She does not, I only listen when I am unhappy
When I am happy I live and despise writing
For my Muse this cannot but be dispiriting.
-Stevie Smith (1902–1971), British poet.
I am tired of loving a foreign muse.
-Stephen Vincent Benét (1898–1943), U.S. poet.
Loosing your muse is like losing all your senses at once.
-Kalynn Campbell (1963- ), U.S. artist
My ultimate search has been for a muse.
-Dominic Monaghan (1976- ), Irish actor
It has been said,
"Those few lucky women who are elevated to Muse status are surely unlucky women."
Yes, the burden of being a Muse has to be equal to it's lofty intoxication of immortalization.
I have had two powerful Muses in my life and never have I had two more impassioned and severe relationships. The highs were that of heavens made of opium and concupiscence, the lows that of black rage and despair deeper than the pit to Hell itself. Strangely, both these highs and lows created unfathomable artistic perceptions, the kind that only exist in the tempest of an inspirational epiphany. But my calling the bond between my Muses and myself a 'relationship' is actually an injustice. It is a much deeper bond, a connection of such monumental proportions that it feels like the same piece of DNA is intertwined within the two of us. We are more than just magnets of attraction and sexual urge, we become the SAME magnet, pulling in a polar field of visionary angels together. We create the art as one. We are profound soul-mates aligning forces to complete each other.
But there remains a tumultuous side. It is not unusual for an artist or his Muse to be involved in a 'real world' relationship of some form outside of their commitment/connection to each other. Obviously this can cause conflict on many levels and lead to deep emotional turmoil. But the real foible is the nature of the artist/Muse relationship itself. The Muse is both the artists' coveted Goddess and his soul-felt creative alliance, he depends on her with near impractical expectations. If she steps away from her crucial role for too long, the balance shifts and the creative process is thrown into chaos. It happens more than not. Balance is key to this complex and unusual partnership. Difficult at best.
The psyche of an artist is often filled with emotional and psychological whirlwinds - and that is true of the Muse as well. Just as she must be able to endure his dark storms of creative temperament as well as his demands for her constant attention, he in turn, must endure the moody and vexing disposition of her creative temperament. Thus the Artist/Muse 'relationship' can be (and often is) an emotionally savage dance done on the top of an artistic pinhead sharpened with the blade of intense inspiration.
Not even the gods can help the two if they fall from that pinhead.
Yet the core of the artist/Muse relationship is, without a doubt, a kiss of nirvana.
"How does one find a Muse?"
Only when one has the blessings of the Greek gods Zeus and Mnemosyne (the parents of the the original 9 Muses) can one be given a Muse. After that, just look for her.
"How will I know my Muse when I see her?"
Simple. You just know. You both know. The connection is apparent upon meeting.
Several commonalities exist when defining a Muse
(not hard-fast rules but more-than-not):
- The Muse is highly intelligent.
- The Muse has few friends
- The Muse is deeply passionate but keeps that side hidden from others.
- The muse is a very strong woman, often considering herself a feminist
- To the artist, the Muse is beautiful in an exotic, almost 'otherworldly' way.
- The Muse is an artist herself. She has to be. Only another art-spirit can sincerely comprehend the soul of the artist.
- Either the artist or the Muse is already involved in a 'real world' marriage (Picasso had Muses on both sides of this coin). The artist and his Muse learn to work around such an obstacle, for the connection they share is stronger than that of the marriage.
- It is very rare that a Muse becomes a 'life partner' with the Artist, but it happens. Surrealist Salvador Dali married his Muse as did John Lennon.
